Saturday, April 28, 2012

Our Eyes Have Been Opened .... The Journey To Our Daughter

When God laid adoption on our hearts we began praying for him to lead us as a family!  When we felt God leading us to China to adopt Max we prayed he would open our hearts to what he would have for us on the journey.  God affirmed over and over in our journey to Max that this was his story being written, his timing and his plan for our family!  As we began our journey to Max we talked about being open to adopting again but trusted that once again God would open our hearts and open and close doors and lead our hearts and our minds.  On our journey to Max God took my heart on a journey.  When we were in China and went to Max’s orphanage our eyes were opened wide and our hearts were broken for the orphans we left behind.  The transformation we saw in Max just hours after having him in our arms was something that was unexplainable.  God continued to give Eric and I a heart for those we left behind and also gave us a love for China.  In October Eric and I were on a little weekend get away and as we sat at dinner out of the blue Eric asked me where my heart and head were with adoption.  I was a little taken off guard but began to share my heart with Eric.  I was ready to jump in and start the process weeks after being home with Max and yet now months later God was telling my heart the timing wasn’t right for our family.  I can only explain it as a God thing as Eric gave me the green light to start process again but God was telling me the timing wasn’t right, to wait and trust fully on his leading and his timing.  
On January 17, Max’s Gotcha Day anniversary, Eric again asked me where my heart and mind was in the process.  I shared with him how I felt ready but that I felt he had a ton on his plate right now at work and the stress level was pretty high.  I felt a total peace about starting but also felt a peace about waiting if he felt like it was too much right now.  I love Eric’s heart and his spiritual leadership in our family.  He said let’s commit to praying for a week every night together and let God decided if the timing is right.  We both felt like God had opened our hearts to step out in faith and adopt again  but it was a matter of trusting in his timing for our family. For the next week we committed to praying for God to lead our hearts and minds, to take this desire away if it wasn’t his will for our family and to confirm his timing in this process if it was.  Who knew this week would be a crazy week at our house.  Eric ended up having to make the biggest and most stressful business decision in the history of his company.  One night he was up until the wee hours working through all the details of this decision and as he crawled in bed at 2 am he rolled over and cuddled up to me and prayed that God would lead our hearts in our adoption decision.  It would have been so easy to put off our commitment to pray this week and just say the timing wasn’t right and our hands are full.  Our hands are full right now with 4 kids, a move in the next year and there a ton going on with Eric’s business.  Yet, once again I love Eric’s heart, leadership in our family  and trusting God’s plan for our family. At 2am he was committed to praying that God would affirm our hearts and make his timing clear.  
On January 24 we both clearly felt God leading us to start the process to bring a little girl home from China.  On January 24 Eric also signed the biggest contract in the history of his company! It was quite the day.  
We can’t wait to see God’s plan unfold.  He knows who our little girl is and knows how perfectly she will fit into our family. He knows the timing and all the details are in his hands.  We are trusting completely in his plan for our family as we begin ...
Follow our journey back to China at The Journey To Our Daughter blog.

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