Today marks a year that we were accepted into the China program and began our journey to our son. Somedays it feels like we have been at this forever and in other ways it feels like we blinked and we are so close to holding our son in our arms. This year may be marked by the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. This was the year that I lost my best friend in a tragic car accident but it is also the year that God has given us the blessing of a new son to call our own. My friend Leigh Ann was our cheerleader and we talked almost daily. Leigh Ann and her husband were in the process of adopting domestically and so you can dare bet that something about adoption came up almost every day during our conversations. I miss her so much. I miss having her on this journey. I miss sharing each milestone we meet on the journey and yet I can still hear her voice or know what she would say when fear of the unknown creeps in. I so wanted to call her the day we got our referral and yet I could hear the words that would have come out of her mouth. She would have cried with me as she looked at the picture of our son. We both shared such a passion about being moms and wishing our kids didn't have to grow up and go to school. We always joked that we would just keep adding little ones and have a very full house. I am so thankful for her fingerprints all over my life. I am thankful for God's hand in my life even when things are hard and I don't understand things that happened around us.
Today marks a year that we have been in process but God had laid adoption on our hearts many years before November 7, 2009. In August Eric had actually brought up pursuing adoption which you can read about earlier on our blog. The very month we began discussing moving forward with adoption, researching agencies, emailing and talking with others who have adopted from China and praying about God's plan for our family was the very month our son was born and was found and brought to the orphanage.
So today marks a year. It is a year of incredible loss and incredible gain. It is a year that I hold tightly to the fact that God gives and he takes away. The taking away still hurts and it is hard to understand but I continue to trust that it is he who is holding me in the giving and the taking away! I know the days ahead will be filled with joy and yet there will be hard days on this journey. I am so thankful that God is walking before us on our journey. I pray that we can continue to put our complete trust in him.
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